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A Fool and His Jokes are Soon Parted.
Apr. 1st, 2012 01:06 pmApril Fools Day, one of Napoleon's favorite holidays, but this year he may not be the jokester. Written for the HODOWE: POISSON D'AVRIL story challenge
Napoleon walked into the tailor shop to see the normally calm Del Floria seemingly frustrated.
“What’s wrong Del?”
“Kuryakin that’s what!”
“Excuse me?”
“Your partner came in with a package that was ticking. I went to help him put it through the bomb chute, when it exploded sending flour all over the shop. I was covered with flour while he had stepped back into a corner missing it all.”
“So you think he was responsible.”
“Claimed he didn’t but the grin on his face tells me otherwise.” Del stated.
Napoleon shook his head laughing as he walked thought the door. He couldn’t believe his straight-laced partner would be part of a gag like that. It was the senior partner who was known for doing something each year, but because of his promise not to pull jokes this year, he had nothing up his sleeve
“What the matter Wanda?” he asked the receptionist.
“Someone rearranged all the badges.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t, oh me. Napoleon Solo, it happened after your partner came through. I know you put him up to it.”
“But I didn’t.” Smiling, he helped her put the few remaining incorrectly placed badges in order before going to get some coffee.
As he walked the hallway to the cafeteria, Napoleon looking questionably at other employees in the corridors, wondering suspiciously if anyone else is going try any practical jokes while still finding it hard to believe his partner was responsible as accused.
He walked into the cafeteria in time to see Mark Slate spit his tea back in his cup.
“That Russian!” Mark complained loudly to Napoleon. “When I get my hands on him, I’m going to take him apart.”
“What did Illya do now?”
“He slipped some salt into my tea.”
“Did that partner of mine say where he was going?” Napoleon asked with a smile.
“Said he was heading back to his office before I took a drink of this. Why is it that of all the Western holidays, this one he understands so well now?”
Napoleon picked up his coffee and headed toward his office surprised that his partner seemed to be the cause of these jokes.
On the way there, he turned a corner and met an angry April Dancer who was mumbling to herself.
“What’s wrong beautiful?”
“That partner of yours! He’s responsible for this.” She said turning around to show Napoleon her back, covered in black goo.
“What happened?”
“I went to sit down in a chair he had pulled out for me without looking at it. The whole back was covered in this stuff.”
“Illya did that to you?”
“He claims he didn’t, but he was the only other person in the room.”
“Let me help you clean that up,” he offered as he stated to reach for her jacket.
“Don’t touch my jacket, you two seem to be in everything together. I don’t’ trust you,” she walked away quickly.
She seemed annoyed at him and accusing him of being guilty by association, he thought to himself as he approached the office he shared with Kuryakin.
He entered it carefully, but was surprised to see no gag waiting for him or his partner. He sat behind his desk with a sense of nervousness, wondering if anything was going to happen. Moments later Jo stormed in, her green hair flowing down her back.
“Where is he?” she demanded.
“He, who?” Napoleon asked already sure he knew who the person was, trying not to laugh.
“My brother, that’s who. I want that krysa (rat) right now.”
“I haven’t seen him yet, just the trail he has left throughout headquarters. What happened to your hair,” he asked a small laugh escaping before he could stop it.
“He asked me to check out a few tracing shampoo he had designed. This is the result.”
“The antidote?”
“He said he had not created one yet.”
“When I get my hands on him!” She said as she turned, storming back out.
Napoleon sat thinking at his desk; his partner had gotten quite a number of the staff but had yet to get him and figured if he stayed in the office until quitting time that he would be safe.
Later that evening, he met Illya, Jo, April, Mark, and Wanda for a drink.
“Well, my friend you managed to get all these poor people, for April Fools but didn’t get me.”
“You are wrong my friend. I did nothing to these people, but we did get you,” he said, grinning as he sipped his drink.
Napoleon laughed, “You flour bombed Del, salted Mark’s tea, put goo on Aprils back, and turned your sister’s hair green. I’d say you did get them!”
“Did you see the flour on the floor of the shop?” Illya asked.
“Or the badges all messed up?” Wanda said.
“Take a drink of my tea?” Mark inquired.
“Did you check out the chair?” April questioned.
“Or see the shampoo?” Jo queried.
“No but.” Napoleon started to see where this was going as grins spread across his co-workers faces.
“So you see my friend, you were the only one gotten by all of us who have suffered your jokes in previous years.”
Napoleon lifted his glass to his fellow agents. “You all got me,” he admitted. “Just watch out for next year.”
The group glanced at each other nervously while Napoleon grinned, rubbing his hands together. They knew he had a whole year to prepare and now all hoped to be on assignment that day if they could arrange it.
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